If you don't have anything nice to say...

I'm going to address this subject once and never again.One of the things that I hate the most hearing about is haters. What the heck is this haters business about? It's so tiring and a slightly paranoid behavior to think that people are always talking about you. How did we become so big that everyone needs to have our names on their lips? And what right does it give someone to degrade the good work another person is doing? What purpose does it serve?When I was growing up, I had an attitude quite typical of most girls in South Florida. You couldn't tell me anything. I mean young and old people alike. Not outright rude but I could get there if necessary. I just had the "Florida face" as my Georgia friends call it. I may not have been the nicest to some people. In my mind, I was always nice.

You never know how you've offended someone until they point it out to you.

I'd like to think that I am a nice person now. I don't remember what I may have said or done to offend someone in my youth. Heck, I can't remember what I did yesterday. The point is, people who are accused of being offensive may not even know they are doing it. All the while you're burning inside.What I want to touch lightly on is the issue of self awareness and self esteem. I've struggled with both coming up. Yes, people told me I was pretty bla bla bla. But you can only be pretty on the outside if you feel pretty on the inside. At some point in my life, I did not. But your "haters" don't want to hear that. They want to make you feel low because at some point you made them feel low. It's a level of immaturity and cowardice that disgusts me. We don't have time to waste bringing people down! Why waste time and energy doing so?A lot of our young women today have self esteem issues that stem so far deep but yet we choose to continue to bring each other down by saying hateful things. Have I said mean things to people in my life? Yes! Do I regret them now that I know better? Yes! Will I continue in that immature manner? NO. Why? IT DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING.Ladies:I want you to be so confident in yourself that you won't allow someone to bring you down. Surround yourself around people that don't feel the need to degrade how you feel. Don't tolerate someone mistreating but handle it in the proper manner. Hate is everywhere. The more you do the good work, the more hate will come your way. Know who you are so that when someone tries to tell you who you are not, you can kindly tell them they have the wrong person.The saying goes, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". I'll go one step further and say, if you don't have anything nice to ADD, just be quiet. If you see something wrong with someone, HELP THEM. Don't tear them down. Offer constructive criticism or an alternative solution.I'm rambling at this point but I just wanted to address this to that one special person who keeps trying to remind me of who I was [see this post and this post]. I don't know who you thought I was honey but that ain't me.